when i say tomato you say...

when he says i love you it means

you're really nice and pretty and i had a nice time with you today

when i say i love you it means

you are my everything and i want to spend the rest of my life with you

3am

there's a knife in my belly
in that soft spot under the ribs
where in CPR class they say if you push too hard
you'll break the end of the breast bone

settle into it
get used it pushing in one direction
the hand turns the knife
rocks it this way and that for a while
changes direction
tests my nerve

it stops
settle in again
it returns

swallow a handful of little brown pills
and wait

it stays for hours
then leaves

there's an emptiness left behind
euphoric
blank white space
and sleep comes.

pots and pans

my voice doesn't fit
in this house.

the hand mixer and microwave timer,
the clanging pots and pans,
the banging on the washer and laughing father
they fit just fine.

my monotone voice
must seem
so
loud.

labor day

rode to brentwood park with inga and frisbee. beautiful day. felt like fall.

visit

recent visit to see the fam.

inga has cataracts.

dad took up organ collecting at some point. he is fond of vacuum tube technology.

parents' wedding gift. or the top piece anyway. i remember this from childhood with the base and glass cylinder in between. glass long since broke in one of the moves.

5th st bridge over lamar

a favorite graffiti location. on my commute home from the borg. see previous 'boobs' post. i enjoy watching it change, though i don't always catch the scene. depends on how far traffic backs up and whether i can pull the trigger in time. sometimes the city gets really diligent and paints it over quickly. i missed the last cats series unfortunately. but here's a guy in air jordan's floating on umbrella.

poop cube

rubio had a nissan cube in poop color for a week while her miata was in the shop. side swiped by an suv. she was not happy to say the least with the rental, but we all enjoyed it.

frels in the trunk on the way to lunch. hipstamatic lens-film randomizer in action.

hipsta-kitty

i realize i need to take pics with something different. at least switch up the film or lens on the iphooon. geez.

tombear digs the chin rub.

she does nonplussed well.

penguin bday

was invited to a nice gathering at black star coop. there were a disproportinate number of cool chicks there. in typical penguin fashion.

the erotic christian poet. i'm still not sure how you fit those three things in one boat, but her logic seemed sound.

the dentist who knows my dentist and isn't afraid to dish about it.

hot ride

hatched a wacky idea to ride to friend's house yesterday. procrastination resulted in a 230pm departure. a pawn shop sign said it was 104. my dentist this morning said it was 112.

more hiptsa

binge trip to the asian market.

trash lunch. or maybe just frugal. $3 is hard to beat.

hipstamatic

enjoying new phone and camera app. functionality is excellent. makes it easy to take a good, fun pic.

wee

jorge's serves its beer with a midgety glass.

remembering amy

amydob i miss you

fuckin horrible obit by the way. sorry amy.

no mention of the names of your father, brother, ex-husband, or dead mother. more plugs for a church than a story of your crazy life. i got the memorial donations corrected to your wishes, aspca, and not a church.

sigh.

i hope the waters were warm and you went peacefully. i suspect you knew what you were doing.

miss you girl.